I dont think I wanna wake up in the morning...

Im sitting here tryin to figure out how imma pay this and how imma do that...and its come to me that i dont wanna do it any more...i dont wanna wake up in the morning...i dont wanna live, i dont...i jus dont....there is no point to my mudane exsitance. i am jus here wasting space. there is no greatness to my life. there is nothing extraordinary about me or what i do or how i live. I struggle for nothing. i live for nothing. i am nothing...

To watch life slip away...(RIP MJ)

To live life takes a life time to loose life takes seconds. That is true no matter who you are. Sometimes you dont realize how quickly life can slip away until u see it right before your eyes. I've seen it. Time and time again I have seen it but i still manage to take it for granted. Today i watched the Memorial service for the GREATEST entertainer that ever did that damn thing. And i watched his daughter...his baby express her love for her daddy. the greatest daddy in the world she called him. I hurt for her. I hurt for her brothers. I know what it is like to wake up one day and not have a parent. I cant imagine having to deal with it under constant media screwtney. Parents are suspose to be a constant in your life. Though you are suspose to beary your parents you shouldnt have to as a child.

Watching that lil girl cry for her daddy opens a whole in my soul that i constently try to ignore. I felt her pain. her family unlike mine wont allow her to suffer with her pain alone.

Sometimes I want him here next to me. To the point that I can feel his hands rub my thighs and his warm breath behing my ear

::Makin a way outta no way::