I love him. . .

It's been 2 yrs and the shit jus wont go away. I dont know how to cut it off. sometimes i dont know if i want to. i guess his existance gives me hope. hope for what i believe i can have. in my mind i rearange my life so i can be apart of his. i embrace his children as my own.
he envades my dreams. i can feel him holding me in my sleep i can feel his warm breath aganist my cheek. I love him and it scares me. to be in love alone is to not be in love. so im stuck in my feelings scared to let go.